Thursday, December 15, 2016

Lori’s Year In Review: 2016

When I started blogging in 2004, someone posted this meme. I’ve answered the same questions for over ten years now, and I like to keep up the tradition.


1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?
Completed a Dungeon & Dragons 3.5 ed. campaign as the Dungeon Mistress
Sold a car (2000 Ford Taurus I inherited from my late Mother)


2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions (NYR), and will you make more for next year?
I refer to NYRs as the Infinite Master To Do List, and yes, I made them. See the next blog entry for an accounting of what I’ve achieved in 2016, and what I hope to achieve in 2017.


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, unless you count fictional characters.


4. Did anyone close to you die?
After I did the 2015 YIR meme, my husband’s last grandparent died (my Mother-in-Law’s Mother) the day after Christmas, and Grandma Fleming was one of many in my husband’s family who made me feel welcomed and very loved.


Although he wasn’t close to me personally, I think anyone on the planet who heard his music was affected by David Bowie. My personal favorite song was “Changes” because a quote from that song was used at the beginning of my favorite 80s teen film The Breakfast Club.


In June, my dear friend Elle Janet Plato committed suicide. She told me the year prior that she was transsexual, and knowing Janet’s wicked sense of humor, I didn’t know whether or not she was teasing me. Nor did it matter to me what her birth gender was vs. what her true gender was. After her death, I found out she was born male (named Larry) physically and underwent surgery. I still miss her.


5. What states or countries did you visit?
Illinois to visit the zoo that was the Ikea (which I learned this year is pronounced “ee-kay-ah”) warehouse store on a Sunday. Thank the Gods they are opening a store in Wisconsin sometime in the future. This time we actually bought something: a hutch for the kitchen and an entertainment center for the master bedroom. We’ve even put the hutch together and are using it.


6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
The list is growing longer:
-More money: either a better paying job or (preferably) a winning lottery ticket for a big jackpot
-a better governor and legislature, which hopefully will occur in 2018 now that the courts are saying no to gerrymandering because one can prove how bad it is


7. What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 13, 2016: Celebrating 25 wonderful years of marriage to the World’s Greatest Husband.


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
2106 was another year where my biggest achievements were surviving it and helping the World’s Greatest Husband survive, too.


9. What was your biggest failure?
Not having the Mithril Party I wanted for our silver anniversary.


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
In February, I caught a cold from the husband, who caught it from our son. The depression and anxiety has been rampant in Castle Curley, mainly affecting King Brian, but I’ve had my bouts, too. Especially in early November IYKWIM.


11. What was the best thing you bought?
I bought several items to help organize our house, and anything that I actually put into use (such as the kitchen hutch) is a good thing.


12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Samantha Bee, Conan O’Brien, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, and James Corden for their responses to the Orlando nightclub shooting.


Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton for their When they go low, we go high.” responses to The Donald.


13. Whose behavior made you:
  Appalled? Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House, and unfortunately from Wisconsin (District 1), for his cowardly response to the Firearm Safety Legislation Sit-in and his part in the 2016 presidential campaign.
  Depressed? Every single person who fired a gun and killed or injured people with it for whatever stupid reason
  Appalled and Depressed? Everyone who voted for The Donald for president, or who voted for anyone but Hillary Clinton, because now we’re going to have two-four years of a lot of damage to undo after that moron and the other repugnican’ts get out of office.


14. Where did most of your money go?
Paying bills (medical, water bill for leaky toilet, furnace repair, etc.), buying needed items like a new microwave (when I broke the old one) and a dehumidifier for the basement, and items to organize our house.


15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our Mithril (Silver) Anniversary. I was hoping for a big party, but we settled for a very nice steak dinner.


16. What song will always remind you of 2016?
Bruises” by Train


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
  a) happier or sadder? Sadder
  b) thinner or fatter? Fatter
  c) richer or poorer? Poorer, and thanks to the elections, not going to be making more money anytime soon.


18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Writing my novel series.


19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Losing the lottery; playing games on my tablets.


20. How will you be spending Christmas?
 Eve: With Prince Mekhi and the World’s Greatest Husband, then with the World’s Greatest In-Laws (mine!);
 Day: With the World’s Greatest Husband (mine!) and our critters; We may go see a movie, but if we do, it won’t be Rogue One.
 26th/my late mother’s birthday: Once again my brother Tom is on the ball about asking our siblings to get together in the Dells. Fran wants to go somewhere other than Moosejaw, and I agree. I only ask that we go somewhere that serves alcohol because it’s an evening with my siblings and their families. KnowwhatImean? Interestingly enough, they picked Monk’s, which I’ve been to locally and know that they serve copious amounts of alcohol.


21. With whom did you spend the most time on the phone?
I guess I could include texts on this one, so that would be Mekhi’s Bio-/Mom #1 Lisa. Early in the year when I drove her to a medical procedure, I referred to myself as “the closest thing she’s ever had to a sister.”


22. Did you fall in love in 2016?
Been in love with the same guy since 1989, and every day I love him more. Many days I truly am surprised that he still puts up with me. He still thinks he got the better end of the marriage deal; I know that I did. Seriously, that is one of the “fiercest arguments” in our marriage. ;} (I usually win when we compare in-laws because I definitely got the better deal there!)


Because of his severe depression and anxiety this year, Brian wondered why I was still with him. I honestly and sincerely reminded him of his being there for me during my tough times (loss of my parents, loss of my job and/or a job from hell, etc.) Plus, I love him so much that being there for him actually isn’t that difficult; I’m not going anywhere, and I will do all I can to help him feel better.


When one of my sisters-in-law was going through a tough time, she offered my brother the option of a divorce, which told me that she didn’t know as much as she thought she did about my brother and our family. We have fun with the good times; and when the hard times hit, as they will do, we build our bunkers around our loved ones and do our best to be there to care for them. That’s just the way our family always has been.


The hard part is knowing I can’t take away his pain or make him laugh as he does for me. One night, I actually made Brian smile when I said that I wished he had a spot on him like the white spot on our black cat Gleep, that we call her “sweetness button.” I said, I would press his “smile button” to make him happy and, well, smile.


23. How many one-night stands?
Because I am monogamous in my marriage, I only have one night stands in my dreams and with the strangest people/fictional characters (such as one of the instructors at my son’s dojo, who in real life is waaaay too skinny (and way too young) for my tastes). See #35 for further details.


24. What are your favorite TV program(s)?
Still love The Big Bang Theory as my current favorite, with the (about as believable but just as fun as a Bond film) Scorpion a close second. Now addicted to virtually all Marvel Cinematic Universe and Arrowverse TV shows. The DVR and the Netflix queue overfloweth, especially with episodes of Doctor Who.


25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Paul Ryan is a good start as he represents almost everything that is reprehensible about the modern Repugnican’t party. Also, every single person who voted for The Donald, and every single person who didn’t vote, or protest voted, and allowed The Donald to become our president-elect.


I no longer hate The Donald because he has done what I wish I could do: put a harsh magnifying glass in a sunbeam and show just how despicable the GOP has become. Now it is frying away after selling its soul to the extremists. I just wish that its demise was established on election day 2016. Now we have to wait another two to four years for it die.


26. What was the best book you read this year?
Staked by Kevin Hearne. It’s the eighth novel in his Iron Druid Chronicles, and I can’t wait for the ninth and final novel, especially because the two Irish wolfhounds are expecting puppies!


27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The World’s Greatest husband keeps expanding my musical repertoire. This year it was the band Train and their album California 37, referring to the highway of the same name.


28. What did you want and get?
Can’t think of anything. 2016 was a bad year all around, and not just for the inhabitants of Castle Curley.


29. What did you want and not get?
More income; Bernie Sanders, or at least Hillary Clinton for president.


30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I have a hard time choosing between Deadpool and Captain America: Civil War. Both based on Marvel Comics, but only the second one is part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Deadpool is considered part of the X-Men film series. The former was freaking hilarious, but the latter was extremely good and unexpectedly surprising.


31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Brian was out-of-town with a group of friends from high school. I told him to go because my birthday wasn’t a hallmark one, and we could go out anytime. Plus, I planned on doing a crafts weekend at home. (I didn’t do any.) See my blog entry for the day. I turned 28 for the twentieth time.


32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Impeaching The Donald or The Wanker.


33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
A colleague asked me if I had lost weight, to which I responded, “Nope, I just bought bigger clothes, but thank you for noticing.”


I also was measured again for a bra-fitting because I’ve gained so much weight. Now I’m a 44-46 DDD. Still need to buy more bras and other undergarments.


34. What kept you sane?
Brian asked me how I keep my spirits up, especially when I helped him deal with his depression and anxiety. I sent him “linkage” e-mails: stuff from I Can Haz Cheezburger and other like sites, to make him smile a little. I said to him, “This is why I’ve downloaded about half the Internet.” Plus, I’ve spent a lifetime dealing with these conditions way before my diagnoses and prognoses, so I have developed a lifetime of coping techniques.


Of course, our puppies and kitties help.


35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Still fancy Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker. Granted, he’s 36 years older than the first time I had a crush on him, but so am I. ;}


However, in August I had a dream that I was at a gaming convention, and as I was crisscrossing the various secret passage ways of the convention center and its hotels, I came across a skinny-dipping Jack Black. Before he climbed out of the pool, the landline rang and woke me up.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Voter rights, and electing Bernie Sanders and Russ Feingold. :(

37. Whom did you miss?
My late father (“Poppy”), my late Grandmother-in-Law Fleming, Elle Janet Plato (see #4).


38. Who was the best new person you met?
The only person I can think of is my son’s fifth-grade teacher, Ms. Wolter.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016:
“I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here.”Arthur C. Clarke


40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
These bruises make for better conversation
Loses the vibe that separates
It’s good to let you in again
You’re not alone in how you’ve been
Everybody loses, everybody loses, everybody loses
We all got bruises, We all got bruises, We all got bruises.

(See #16 above.)


-----
First Blog Titles Month by Month 2016:
January: Which Blog? I’ve Lost Count
February: What can I do today to achieve my goals?
March: Movies, Geekdom, and Race
April: The Fish is in the Tree…
May: Another Fine Mother’s Day
June: A Preacher Walks into a Grocery Store...
July: The Drunken Smiley Face in the Sky
August: Framily
September: Catching Up: Birthday 2016
October: Corn Maze – Football Nap
November: Meme
December: Lori’s Year In Review: 2016


Blessed Be,
-Lori


“Communication technologies are necessary, but not sufficient, for us humans to get along with each other.” – Arthur C. Clarke

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Another Meme from Facebook

This is fun! Tell us about your SENIOR year of high school! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be!


The year was: 1986-87


1. Did you know your spouse then? No. He already was at UW-Platteville, where we met a year later.
2. Did you carpool? Yes, with Ananda Patterson. Ananda: remember going to that diner for breakfast in the mornings?
3. What kind of car did you have? I didn’t have a driver’s license because of my epilepsy, and my brother totaled the car I might have used.
4. It’s Friday night at the football game, where are you? BION, I was captain of the varsity football cheerleader squad. I wanted to play football, but the coach was a moron, and cheerleading was something of a consolation. I was the only cheerleader on the squad who knew that you don’t do the cheer “Sack that quarterback!” when our team was on offense, or “First and ten; do it again!” while on defense.
5. What kind of job did you have? Fast food and babysitting.
6. Were you a party animal? Not really.
7. Were you considered a jock? Definitely not, probably why the moron didn’t want me on the football team.
8. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? Choir, but I never had any solos due to my hideous singing and the even worse choir director. Anybody from EHS remember Chuck Roast (slang name for the choir teacher who was fired at the end of my senior year)?
9. Were you a nerd? Definitely.
10. Did you get suspended or expelled? Nope
11. Can you sing the fight song? Yes, and (sigh) I even remember the choreography the cheerleaders had to do.
12. Where did you eat lunch? In the cafeteria, closed campus.
13. What was your full school’s name? Edgewood High School of the Sacred Heart (EHS), but it was misspelled Scared in my freshman yearbook.
14. What was your school mascot? Crusader
15. If you could go back and do it again would you? Not for all the money Disney spent to buy Lucasfilm.
16. Are you planning on going to your next high school reunion? Nope. I said my goodbyes to the class of ’87 at the “Alumni Dance” after the commencement ceremony because I was so happy to get out of the hell that was Catholic high school. I must not be the only one because no one volunteered to put together a 25th reunion, and so far it looks like no one is working on the 30th for next year.
17. Are you still in contact with people from high school? A few on Facebook. Although I do try to get together with Betsy Laessig-Stary (and her daughter Samm Stary, who now is a senior at EHS) every now and then. I also need to go see Casey Day perform, but he keeps performing in Verona, which is a ways from my home in Sun Prairie.


Pog ma thoin!
-Lori


“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?”John Keats

Friday, November 25, 2016

Blessings

I could post about yet another nice Thanksgiving with the World’s Greatest Husband and critters, but I’ve done that in so many prior years. This morning, I want to talk about blessings that make the world a beautiful place, specifically, I want to mention stories I’ve read in the online news this morning.


Local youth group surprises servers with $1,300 holiday tip
In a nutshell: a youth church group in Janesville annually goes out to eat together the night before Thanksgiving. They collected over $1300 to tip the waitstaff, and when they presented the money to the two ladies, they discovered that one is getting married and the other is pregnant. The money was very well received.


How a haircut led to a new lease on life for Sun Prairie man
People can become very attached to their hairstylists because of the opportunity to talk during the haircut. One such conversation led a man to tell his beautician about his kidney dialysis. Remembering that they are the same blood type, the stylist offered one of her own. Once it was determined that she was a match, the surgery happened. Now in addition to haircuts, they also get together to play Yahtzee.


1998 bus fire leads burn nurse to career as burn surgeon
When a mentally ill man boarded a bus, poured gasoline on people, and set them on fire, the UW Hospital worked around the clock to save the lives of the burn victims. Two of the victims were a young engaged couple who almost didn’t make it because of the extensive burns. One nurse worked exceptionally hard to help them, and when they survived, they asked the nurse to be a bridesmaid in their wedding. Since then, the nurse decided she wanted to because a surgeon specializing in burn victims. Although it took her sixteen years, during which she also birthed two children, she has made that dream a reality.


Grandma’s last-minute guest showed up
An Arizona grandmother knew the best way to invite her grandchildren to Thanksgiving would be to text them. However, she accidentally texted a high school student who was a complete stranger. After they cleared up the issue, the youth asked if he still was invited to Thanksgiving. The woman said, “Of course you can. That’s what grandmas do...feed everyone!” The youth enjoyed a lovely Thanksgiving with the grandmother’s family before he attended a feast with his own.


Alliant Energy Center honors contracts after holiday expo cancels last minute
The Alliant Energy Center (AEC) is an exposition and convention space here in Madison that has hosted concerts, sporting events, the Dane County Junior Fair, and even Comicon. Recently the organizers of a holiday expo had to cancel the event due to bankruptcy, and they couldn’t refund the monies to the vendors who paid table fees. The AEC decided to honor the contracts and keep the expo on the books, which is planned for the weekend of December 10. If you’re in the Madison area, and you attend, I may see you there.


Pog ma thoin!
-Lori


“So shines a good deed in a weary world.”Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory written by Roald Dahl

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Meme

When I was on LiveJournal, I loved doing the Q&A memes. This one was on Facebook, and I completed it last night with the help of Brian Curley, the World’s Greatest Husband.


Instructions: WITHOUT prompting, ask your spouse or kids these questions and write EXACTLY what they say. The outcome can be hilarious.


•What is something I always say? “Don’t let it ruin your day.” [Actually, “When in doubt, smile.”]
•What makes me happy? Star Wars stuff [actually, he, Mekhi O’Brien, and our critters make me happy.]
•What makes me sad? November (when my parents died in 2007) [seeing him sad makes me sad]
•How tall am I? 5’5” [correct]
•What’s my favorite thing to do? Laugh [read]
•What do I do when you’re not around? Sleep [housework]
•If I become famous, what will it be for? Writing [correct]
•What makes you proud of me? You never give up on stuff.
What is my favorite food? Chocolate [correct]
•What is my favorite restaurant? Prairie Diner (a greasy spoon here in Sun Prairie) [correct]
•Where is my favorite place to visit? M&M World (favorite place in Las Vegas) [actually, I prefer to visit his parents]
• If I could go anywhere, where would it be? Ireland [correct]
•Do you think you could live without me? No (it’s been a tough year for Brian)
•How do I annoy you? Unending optimism.
•What is my favorite movie? Star Wars [While I prefer The Empire Strikes Back, my favorite movie probably is Real Genius or something by John Hughes]
•Who is my celebrity crush? Clay Matthews III [true, but Mark Hamill is higher on the list]
•You get a phone call that I am in trouble, who am I with? Betsy Laessig-Stary [correct]


Pog ma thoin!
-Lori


“I can’t stand you all equally.” – Betsy, on her kids

Monday, October 31, 2016

Corn Maze – Football Nap

…a wonderful way to spend a Sunday


A colleague of mine at the DNR is a professional clown part-time (not the bad kind). His hair is never the same color two days in a row, and he creates the most amazing balloon sculptures ever. Last year, he gave me a couple of free passes to a local corn maze, which Brian, Mekhi and I loved going through. The theme of the 2015 maze was the Aesop Fable, “The Fox and the Grapes.” After we arrived home, I gave Mekhi my copy of Aesop’s Fables that were given to me at school when I was ten years old.


This year’s maze was called “Rainbows, Kittens, and Killer Baby Unicorns.” Brian wasn’t sure if his 51-year-old ankles would make it through, but I reminded him that the maze isn’t as big as it looks (I was right). I didn’t time us because that would not have been fun. Each of us took turns being the “navigator” with the map, and Mekhi was the best at finding the mailboxes that store the next piece of the map. We passed other groups traversing the maze, and one pair of young boys (also about ten each) were very good at following the map. One of them wore a Packer jersey, and when I was navigator, I kept suggesting that we “follow Jordy.” It worked.


I never did see my colleague, who was there in his clown persona, but I did see people wearing his balloon art, specifically a tiara and a flower bracelet.


Afterwards, we bought snacks (mine was a caramel apple sans nuts), and sat for a while. Mekhi didn’t seem too interested in doing some of the activities that we did last year, such as seeing the baby chicks and bunnies on the farm. I insisted upon going to the kitten house, which had a line. I was minorly disappointed that only three kittens were inside, but I did hold one of them. I asked Mekhi if anything was wrong, and he steadfastly said no. Brian was concerned that Mekhi didn’t want to be with us, but Mekhi felt he needed to be home with Mom #1 to help her clean house and prepare for home inspections (they live in Section Eight Housing).


So Brian and I took Mekhi to home #1. En route, Mekhi asked us to help him find the letter J because he was playing the Alphabet Game (albeit with much easier rules than listed in the link). We played it cooperatively until we reached Z and Mekhi’s home #1.


Brian and I decided to spend the afternoon watching the NFL RedZone and taking a nap with a lot of critters in our bed. Felt. Damn. Good.


Pog ma thoin!
-Lori


“Other Staff issues: For future reference – do not sneak up on Tosh wearing a clown mask, for a laugh. She does NOT find this amusing.”Torchwood’s Captain’s Log entry 17

Friday, September 23, 2016

Catching Up: Birthday 2016

Okay, so despite my new year’s resolution to write more in my blog and journal, I’ve only written eighteen blog entries and no handwritten journal entries. Not only that, I haven’t even finished the report on my goals annual review 2016, which I started on August 1. I must improve.


So today, I am “Catching Up” on entries, starting with my birthday this year. Jack Black and I both turned twenty-eight for the twentieth time (I stopped counting at 28 because it was my Golden Birthday). Brian, the World’s Greatest Husband (WGH) was out of town that weekend because his group of friends from Wausau (where they all graduated high school) went camping that weekend. Brian was concerned about how I would feel without him, and I told him I would be okay. After all, I’m only in my late forties – not like it’s a hallmark birthday or anything. Besides, one member of the group just died young (cancer), so I felt Brian needed to be with his friends that weekend.


I didn’t realize how much I would miss my husband. I had a list of things to do (as usual), and Friday, August 26, started off well with me dealing with the person who came to do the furnace tune-up, as well as me assembling a small storage unit that we bought for the kitchen. Unfortunately that night I couldn’t sleep without the WGH in bed with me (and the dogs). I tried reading, watching TV, etc. Nothing worked. Saturday I was so exhausted that I stayed in bed dozing on and off. Mercifully, Brian kept texting me to tell me that he missed me too, and that he loves me.


Brian even texted me shortly after midnight on Sunday, August 28, proper, to wish me a happy birthday. That was very nice. I also received a couple dozen e-mails and Facebook messages, even one from my Father-in-Law. Awesome! I felt very, very loved.


Mekhi's bio-mom made me a special angel food cake (my favorite) that she dropped off that day - it said "momma" on it in those candy letters. We didn't eat the whole thing, so I  took it to work along with the cinnamon rolls I made from my mother's recipe.

Neither I nor Brian bought me a gift, but this past weekend we went to visit my wonderful in-laws, and they gave me a belated birthday card (and an early card for Brian, whose birthday is later this month), with some money in it. This weekend, I’m going to add to my Munchkin collection.


Money has been even tighter than usual, so Brian and I waited until the next pay period to go out for my birthday: Samba Brazilian Grill, which was so worth the $100 tab, but they don’t do doggie bags (it’s a buffet). 


Pog ma thoin!
-Lori


“Hug too much. Smile too much. And, when you can, love.”Neil Gaiman

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Framily

Since Prince Mekhi joined the royal house of Castle Curley, his family has become our Framily. One of his sister’s also calls me “Mama #2”, and I’m the closest thing to a sister that Lisa, Mekhi’s bio-mom, has ever had. I took her for a medical procedure earlier in the year, and I was supposed to take her again in earlier this month for another outpatient surgery, but something came up in her blood work. We are listed as emergency contacts for her, and Lisa is designated as a Duchess of Castle Curley. She’s still working on the paperwork to grant us official guardian status of Mekhi should (Gods forbid) anything happen to her, or if (Gods forbid) we need to take him to the emergency room (ER) again.


My Son is Full of Sh!t (literally)
In my first blog entry this year, I briefly mentioned an emergency incident with Mekhi that made me freak (and you’d think someone trained in first aid and other emergency preparedness wouldn’t freak, but I did); now for the details.


Mekhi and I were headed to his karate class one cold January night when he started feeling abdominal pain so severe that he didn’t want to go to class. Of course, my first freakish thought was appendicitis, and I wanted to rush him to the ER; yet I couldn’t because I had no legal right to do so. I frantically called Lisa, then drove Mekhi to her home. They spent the majority of that evening in the local ER, but the doctor suggested waiting overnight to see if the pain diminished before subjecting (then nine-year-old) Mekhi to either an X-ray or surgery.


The next day Lisa texted us; they were back at the ER on the advice of Mekhi’s school nurse. Brian and I rushed to join them, then spent the afternoon waiting in typical ER fashion. Although Mekhi was grounded from electronics for bad behavior at school, we three parents agreed that restriction could be lifted when the nurse gave him a tablet to keep him entertained (and not worried) while waiting. Eventually we were told to take him to the pediatric ER at UW Hospital.


The place was under construction, but still functional. The doctors ordered an X-ray that came up inconclusive. Mekhi either could have appendicitis or constipation. Obviously the first course of treatment would be for the latter; an enema is far less invasive than surgery, although infinitely more embarrassing for a nine-year-old. Mercifully the nurse was cool (tattoos, piercings, and spiked and colored hair), professional, and very quick with this most embarrassing part. Then Mekhi had to run to the nearest bathroom, which was further away than usual due to the aforementioned construction.


Actually what was (and still is) more embarrassing for Mekhi is all the crap jokes that Lisa, Brian, and I told and have been telling since that night. He still turns bright red when we mention it, or when he gets constipated again and we have to “reboot his butt” with a laxative designed for children. Upon informing him that we’d be telling this story at his wedding, Mekhi declared, “That’s why I’m never getting married.”


Easter 2015
Last year for Easter, we tried going to my brother Fran’s house for his family’s egg-hunt, but we didn’t make it due to car trouble halfway there. However, earlier in the day, when I dropped my Easter basket full of candy, both Mekhi and Brian applauded my fumbling my dexterity check. (For the record: the Easter baskets are almost all candy and one toy; I really don't spoil Mekhi - much.)Mercifully later in the day when Brian tripped in a parking lot, Mekhi knew better than to applaud. I have a lovely picture of Brian and Mekhi working on our car together.


Quick Wit
On a similar road trip, I said to Mekhi, “Have I ever told you the story about how I quit smoking?”


My little prince replied, “No, Mom, and I don’t want to be here for the next five hours.”


Hm. Mekhi also was not interested in seeing the large scar from a surgery that was done on my back when I was younger than he was.


When we told Mekhi the saying about Wisconsin weather (If you don’t like it, just wait five minutes, and it’ll change.), he replied, “but in five more minutes it’ll change back.”


Other Treasured (and not so-) Moments in Parenthood
When Mekhi joined our family, he didn’t like to read. Brian had the best idea to encourage him to read: comic books. Since then while trying to talk with Mekhi, I frequently have received the look, “Can’t talk; reading.” Makes me smile.


Because Mekhi is African-American, I worry about his perception of police and their perception of him. Earlier in the year, he went outside to play with a toy gun that was missing the orange cap which identifies it as a toy.


Tonight, Mekhi goes for his red belt with black stripe in American Taekwondo. I must remember to bring tissues as Brian frequently has something in his eye during these events. So proud.


Pog ma thoin!
-Lori


“You just gotta love the children; reach your hands out to them, and they will hug you back.” -Lee Fair, father of nine foster children, on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Monday, July 18, 2016

Marriage is Fun

From Brian’s Facebook (He posted a picture of the men in the wedding party.):
Check out Ryan Curley, Rick Curley, and Daryl Hooker! We all looked so good 25 years ago today. Except for the tragic mullet and pornstache.


The good news is that Lori Ann Curley married me anyway. Happy Anniversary to the kindest, most loving person I know!


From my (rare posting on) Facebook:
Happy Silver (or Mithril in geekspeak) to Brian Curley, a.k.a. the World’s Greatest Husband, who proposed to me with the following:


“To the light in my darkness and the dawn of my every day. I love you. P. S. By the way, will you marry me?”


I said yes once I regained the power of speech.


One of my cousins commented “Beautiful proposal.” I responded with “The ring was tied with a ribbon to a Winnie-the-Pooh bear. You may all say, “Aww!” Two friends did.


Dinner Celebration
We had a lovely steak dinner at Delany’s. Delicious food and impeccable service. I highly recommend the Button Mushrooms, sautéed in butter & topped with parmesan cheese, and Brian chose their slender onion rings for his appetizer. For entrées, I had the tiniest filet mignon with a bleu cheese topping that sizzled when it was served. Brian ordered the prime rib special and could not finish it. For dessert, the restaurant treated us to an ice cream sundae that we shared in our usual 60/40 split.


Gifts
For some reason, Brian doesn’t like shopping my wish lists on Amazon.com or Think Geek.com. I like to make gift shopping easy on people. I shopped his wish list and purchased an expansion for the boardgame “A Touch of Evil” and a Bluetooth speaker. Brian bought me a pyramid-shaped cushion on which to rest my Kindle as I’m reading in bed, and it’s so much better than the stand (that I had to put on a book) that I was using prior. He also gave me another book, Shadows Over Baker Street, for my Kindle.


However, the best gift is being married to Brian: the great love of my life and the rock I cling to in the storm of life. When I see him helping someone in need, or just doing something sweet and unexpected, I realize what a good man I married.


Besides, being married to Brian is fun. Years ago I read a magazine article that discussed that women frequently choose to spend their free time doing housework, whereas men frequently choose to have fun and play during their free time. Brian is a prime example of this in that he introduced me to several roleplaying games and board games and other fun activities during our marriage, such as going to Summerfest (again) and taking me to Lambeau Field for Packer games, Family Night, and Shareholder meetings.


Brian reminds me of my late father’s sense of humor. One night when my parents had all ten of their grandchildren (ranging in age from toddler to teenager), my mother complained that she had done all the work while he did nothing but play with the kids. My father replied, “Well whose fault is that?”


Plus, Brian makes me laugh when I’m feeling sad. I wish I had that talent.


Here’s to another wonderful twenty-five (plus) years.


Pog ma thoin!
-Lori


“Are you currently in a serious relationship?”
“Well, I’m married, but the WGH and I try not to be too serious about it. We prefer being silly. Case in point: we celebrated one of our wedding anniversaries by going to a Weird Al concert. Another was spent in bed sleeping. You get the idea.”
– from a meme I answered several years ago.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

The Drunken Smiley Face in the Sky

Two more wonderful trips to Summerfest.


Opening Day
The World’s Greatest Husband (WGH) and I attended the opening day of Summerfest on Wednesday, July 29. We took off work early and had a great time, despite the Milwaukee County Transit System soaking us for both a parking fee AND a bus fare. Not good. We dipped into the last of our savings to have enough cash for the day, and shelling out $17 in travel expenses was a terrible way to start.


Fortunately, we had a wonderful time. After picking up a late lunch in the international food vendors section, we strolled down the lakeshore path until we reached the Tiki Hut, where less-established artists perform. We enjoyed Dan Rodriguez’s concert and bought his latest CD. For the uninitiated, Rodriguez’s song “When You Come Home” is featured in the Budweiser “Friends Are Waiting” Commercial (scroll down until you find the video link). He also has a beautiful rendition of “Stand By Me” (same page, a little higher). Rodriguez, as usual, sang his song “Duluth” with his wife (they wrote “Duluth” on their honeymoon; guess where they went?), and this year they included their four-month old son Oak.


Of course the food and drink are expensive; Summerfest is a closed venue and carry-ins are prohibited. I just buy a ($4.50) bottle of water, then refill it at the bubblers. As I was doing this, I noticed the young lady at the next bubbler struggling to get a drink while holding her long hair out of the way and talking on her cell phone all at the same time. Unfortunately, she failed her DEX roll.


As experienced Summerfest attendees, we know that the best way to insure a good seat for a 10:00 pm show is to be there by 4:00 pm and stay there, taking turns as needed for food/beverage/bathroom breaks. Plus, we don’t like to stand through the show as others do, and positioned ourselves at the top of a set of bleachers with an excellent and unobstructed view.


Because it is an outdoor venue, Summerfest allows smoking in most areas, including the amphitheater where we were seated. An extremely inebriated gent in front of me was behaving like an active chimney; something I couldn’t tolerate as an ex-smoker, so I whispered to him, “Could you please refrain from smoking, or go somewhere else to smoke? I’m breathing for two (with appropriate belly pat).” Worked like the proverbial charm. When the gent went to buy more beer, he didn’t return for quite some time; and when he did return, he admitted that he got lost. Yep, very drunk. His companions assured me he was not the designated driver. No, I’m not pregnant, but the drunk didn’t need to know that.


Two of the acts prior to the one we wanted to see were terrible. I know the singer is bad when even my tone-deaf ears start hurting, However a third group was so good that Brian already purchased one of their CDs. In between acts, while the roadies reset the stage, I took out my tablet to read my Kindle app. At 9:30 pm, Summerfest treated its guests to an incredible and lengthy (half-hour) fireworks show that included a few smiley faces meant to represent the Summerfest logo. One of them exploded upside-down, so we dubbed it “The Drunken Smiley Face in the Sky.”


Our chosen headliner for the evening was none other than “Weird Al” Yankovic. To celebrate our third wedding anniversary, Brian and I attended Yankovic’s concert at the Barrymore Theatre in Madison when he was on tour promoting his Alapalooza album. Twenty-two years later, Yankovic is on tour promoting Mandatory Fun. He opened the show by singing “Tacky” based on “Happy” by Pharrell, and for over an hour, Yankovic entertained us with many songs from his repertoire. At one point, Yankovic grabbed his accordion and said, “I’m sure I don’t have to ask this, but Milwaukee, are you ready to polka?!” The crowd went nuts; the polka is Wisconsin’s official state dance. Seriously. Yankovic not only played “Now That’s What I Call Polka!”, his chosen polka medley from Mandatory Fun, but the mega screen upstage played videos of the songs he covered. When I saw Miley Cyrus swinging from a “Wrecking Ball” onscreen, I laughed so loud, I was afraid of disturbing the drunken party seated in front of me. I couldn’t stop laughing as Yankovic also covered “Gangnam Style” by Psy, “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen, and “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk featuring Pharrell Williams, among others.


The mega screen came in handy because Al and his band made several costume changes in between songs throughout the set. As they left the stage, clips were shown from The Weird Al Show, Al TV, and shows in which he appeared (such as The Simpsons) or was mentioned (How I Met Your Mother). Sometimes a video would segue into a song performance, as Al literally segwayed onto the stage to sing “White and Nerdy.”


Although I kept my vow to sing publicly only at sporting events (because even professional singers have trouble with “The Star Spangled Banner”) or in a house of worship (the Gods gave me this horrible singing voice, They should have put up with it), I did break the vow for Al’s encore: “The Saga Begins,” which combines three of my fandoms: “Weird Al,” Star Wars, and “American Pie.” Plus “Yoda.”


Good Karma, Perfect Day
On our way to Summerfest on Saturday, July 9th, we stopped at our favorite McDonald’s for some lunch. We were behind a car with two adorable dogs in the back and an Afghanistan War Veteran license plate. My habit is to thank veterans whenever I can, so I said to Brian that I wished we were ahead of the car so that we could pay for his lunch. Well, the veteran’s window was open, so Brian shouted to him that we would pay for his lunch. When the veteran approached the pay window, the cashier looked at us to confirm, which we of course did, and passed the veteran on. When the cashier asked why we were doing this, we pointed to the license plate, and he understood. So we started the day with perfect weather and very good karma.


We saved ourselves some money (and a lot of aggravation) by parking in a different lot and still riding the bus to Summerfest with a pre-paid fare. When we arrived, most of the stages hosted a battle of the bands from various School of Rock franchises across the nation. These kids were wicked-talented, singing songs from Guns N Roses, Led Zeppelin, and Stevie Wonder, among others.

Mercifully all of the groups we wanted to see that day performed at the BMO Harris Pavilion, which is no smoking due to its roof, so we camped there from about 3:30 pm on. I never heard of Sigmund Snopek, nor that he used to open for the Violent Femmes (go figure; both are from Milwaukee), but I loved his music, the way he encouraged the audience to sing (calling us the Wisconsin Tavernacle Choir), and the fact that he had a painter on stage creating art as he created art. Nice touch.


Howard Jones gave a brief but beautiful performance (with a keytar and other techno instruments that I couldn’t name). Then OMD played, including my favorite “If You Leave” from the Pretty In Pink soundtrack. I love me my 80s soundtracks, and I admit it: I sang along. Mercifully the guy sitting next to me (not my Brian, other side) was wearing earplugs. Throughout the evening, Mr. Earplugs watched a movie on his smartphone, and I looked it up at work this week from what little I saw: Resident Evil: Apocalypse starring the talented and beautiful Milla Jovovich.


Despite our fabulous bleacher seats behind and above the more formal theater seats, I noticed a very bad design flaw of the pavilion and its handicap accessible seats. We sat in a place where we always would be able to see the stage, even if the patrons in front of us stood. The accessible seats were the back row of the theater seats, and people using that row either had to stand or have no view. I noticed one young couple left, which is rather sad because the gentlemen, whose right leg ended at the knee, had the bearing of a veteran. I must remember to write Summerfest about this.


When the headliner Bare Naked Ladies took the stage, I noticed that the lead singer Ed Robertson seemed to change guitars (electric, acoustic, mandolin, and banjo) after every song. I don’t know why he needed so many stringed instruments, but I guess that’s just a musician thing. Again I broke my vow when they played many of their songs that I know so well: “If I Had $1,000,000,” “The Old Apartment”, and especially “History of Everything,” the theme song from my favorite sitcom The Big Bang Theory. For the encore, Robertson switched places with the drummer Tyler Stewart, who also is a talented front man, as well as looking extremely huggable (that means attractive in my parlance).


As we left Summerfest, casually walking along its lakeshore path because we were not in a hurry, Brian turned to me and said that the day was perfect (touch wood), and “happy anniversary.” No, we couldn’t afford a big party, but we did have a wonderful time together. I hugged him and honestly told him how much I love him.


The only bad thing that could have occurred at that point was if our car was towed from where we extra-legally parked it. However, we weren’t the only Summerfest attendees to do that, so they couldn’t tow us all. Finally at home, we crawled into bed and didn’t get up until an hour or so before hosting our regular RPG.


Next year (for Summerfest’s 50th anniversary), we want to take our friend Brian Stewart.


Pog ma thoin!
-Lori


Droz: “What’s this? You’re wearing the shirt of the band you’re going to see? Don’t be that guy!” – PCU written by Adam Leff and Zak Penn Brian and I saw a lot of people being ‘that guy.’

Friday, June 24, 2016

Castle Curley Update

Near the end of 2015, I created a list called the “Castle Curley Home Organization and Improvements List”, hoping that in lieu of improvements that the WGH and I cannot afford, at least organizing the house would make it functional and save us resources of money and time in that we could find what we need instead of having to buy new stuff, we could eat at home rather than going out most nights, and we wouldn’t have to spend our weekends and other days off cleaning house. I hoped that we could have this organization done with minimal costs by the end of the year.


Reality loves to laugh at any plans I make.


While Brian and I move faster than the glacial pace of state government, it’s not by much. We already modified the plans to state that the first floor will be done by the end of the year, with the second floor done in 2017, the (finished) attic in 2018, and the (unfinished, so storage only) basement in 2019.


We really hoped to renovate the house, and I’ve been waiting for the last eleven years since we moved into this 1902 Victorian home to either win the lottery, write a best seller, and/or receive a significant raise at work. At the rate all three of these are going, they are in order of likelihood of happening. If I’d been smart, we would have started this organization project back in 2005; then I could have spent more time working on creativity (novel and crafts, specifically) and Delazan Enterprises, my home business.


We did make an effort on the house organization over the Memorial Day (MD) weekend, despite the fact that we spent almost all of Friday in bed (sleeping, felt wonderful). Mekhi did forge a path from the door to his bed in his bedroom, but not the big cleanout that I hoped he and Brian would do that day. I really can’t complain about the mess in my ten-year-old’s bedroom considering it matches the cleanliness – or lack thereof – of my bedroom at that same age; my adult bedroom isn’t much cleaner.


The biggest project completed MD weekend was the assembly of the hutch we bought at Ikea (pronounced ɪˈkeːˈa) earlier in the year. Actually it’s a secretary with a matching cabinet on top, but it’s far more functional than the pub table and chairs that it replaced in our kitchen. The table was a clutter magnet, and I hate barstool height chairs. Brian and I only snipped at each other a few times in the process, both losing our tempers at least once each. After about four hours (felt like forty), we have a beautiful hutch that I already started organizing with snacks for Mekhi, treats for the critters, and my two favorite cookbooks. The handled baskets that I purchased (and started using in the freezer and refrigerator) help this endeavor, plus providing storage for the unused baskets to get them off the counter.


We didn’t remove the ugly and stained brown carpet from the study MD weekend, but we did go to see Captain America: Civil War for some positive mental health and to keep up with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Brian said the movie followed the comic book reasonably well; I loved the unexpected, yet very pleasant surprises the movie’s plot made. Fight scenes (which I usually find very boring) were good, too.


This coming weekend, we have no RPG; just Mekhi’s karate lesson, Janet’s memorial to attend and a few errands to run. The following weekend will be our annual Independence Day Party, so Brian and I will be cleaning and organizing. Wednesday night we hauled our seldom-used treadmill to the curb, and we don’t have anything else super-heavy that needs to be moved from the study before we take out the carpet. A lot of stuff in there will be thrown out.


I also hope we finish organizing the kitchen this weekend. Of the eleven drawers, three will continue their current uses (silverware, linens, and hand-held appliances), and I’ve gone through one of the junk drawers and now store the pot lids in there since our new stove doesn’t have as much storage as the older one. Although, now we have room next to the stove for a small organizer that we’ve purchased and hope to assemble this weekend, in which we plan to store more items that used to be on or in the stove, as well as large utensils that are in a carousel on the counter (that Brian hates because it takes up so much counter space). We also need to set up a drinking fountain for all the critters and a special timed/measured feeding dish for the dogs.


After living in this house for eleven years, I finally looked into the huge cupboard high up in the half-bath just off the kitchen. Basically it was empty, so now we store for seldom-used items for entertaining (like the football-shaped chip and dip bowl). Some of the “stuff” in the drawers may find their way into that cupboard or into the basement for other long-term storage.


I’ll let you know how what progress we make over the weekend, but understand that our plan for this evening is to go to bed not long after arriving home.


Pog ma thoin!
-Lori


“Every time I make a plan, God laughs at me.” – Jason Isaacs

Friday, June 17, 2016

No Mithril Party

We at Castle Curley have had to dig into our meager savings to pay bills (medical, water bill for leaky toilet, furnace repair, etc.) and buying needed items like a new microwave (when I broke the old one) and a dehumidifier for the basement to slow the rusting of the furnace we purchased in 2006. This coupled with our lower pay thanks to the Wanker Administration means we will not have a big party for our Silver/Mithril Anniversary. Thus, our annual Independence Day Party (IDP) is back on the calendar for Saturday, July 2, 2016, at 3:30 pm-ish until the fireworks are spent and the mosquitos overtake us.


I am having a hard time letting the Mithril Party go (case in point: this blog entry has been in production for about a month), as well as the second honeymoon we wanted to do afterward. When Brian and I married, we couldn’t afford a big honeymoon: a week in the Poconos in a suite with a champagne glass whirlpool and/or a heart-shaped tub. That was my dream from the adverts in Brides and other like magazines to which I subscribed from the age of eighteen to my wedding at twenty-one.


Well, the Poconos now have a lot of the same resorts as one would find in the Wisconsin Dells, and Brian and I decided that a dip in such peculiar tubs is neither necessary nor feasible at our age. When I asked the World’s Greatest Husband what he’d like for a second honeymoon, he mentioned Ireland or Greece. I like both those ideas, but I prefer Ireland because I’d like to look up our ancestors, and aside from a few places, they speak English in Ireland. Hell, I’d love to go on any vacation that doesn’t end in the word “Con”. Unfortunately, this is still out of our budget for both money and leave time (unless I win the lottery). Sigh.


So, back to the events of this summer: Brian and I plan to go out for a very nice steak dinner on our anniversary proper. I looked at the wish list I made for the Mithril Party and highlighted a few items that I wanted to do before and for the IDP. Unfortunately, we can’t afford the abbreviated list, either:
  • Have a new family portrait taken, and with Mekhi
  • Have wedding videos/photos scanned/converted to digital to display on a digital frame and/or laptop throughout the party
  • Bring out wedding flowers, ring bearer’s pillow, etc. to display.
  • Packers Shareholders Stock frame for us
  • Silver Jordan Almonds
  • Anniversary cake
Just the sitting fee for the family portrait would be about $80, plus the cost of the photos themselves. I haven’t priced fees for scanning our wedding photos and videos because it would be a waste of time. If I went through the Packers Pro shop, a frame for our share of stock would be at minimum around $90; even though I know a local place that could make one cheaper, it’s still not in the budget. Jordan almonds represent the bitter and sweet of marriage, and I wanted them at the wedding twenty-five years ago. Again: not in the budget (and the only place I found that sold silver Jordan almonds has discontinued them). I wanted a fancy cake in the style of Charm City Cakes, but at the (tenth) anniversary party of friends, they had cupcakes, and I already purchased some silver anniversary picks to put on some inexpensive yet delicious some cupcakes that I can buy locally. The only item on the abbreviated list that wouldn’t cost any money is to bring out the plastic tote that stores all our wedding paraphernalia for display, and I’d rather not do that considering some of the children who may attend.


In light of my friend Janet’s death earlier this month, and that her 50th birthday would have been the day after our party, I’m thinking of making a German chocolate cake (her favorite) in her memory. Otherwise, I refuse to stress-out regarding this party. Brian and I have been working on the house (more in a later entry), and the past several years have proven that once the invites are out, all I have to worry about is buying a bunch of meat (and their accompaniments) for the grill.


My parents had a lovely (but stress-filled to prep) party for their Silver. Then went on a cruise to Alaska for their Ruby (forty years). I was going to plan a Golden (fifty) Party for them, mainly because (aside from end-of-life-care for our parents) my siblings couldn’t organize a special brownie giveaway at a Grateful Dead concert. However, Mum and I disagreed on the date for the party (I reserved the church reception hall for the weekend of their anniversary proper; she wanted the weekend that Brian and I planned to attend Gen Con), and then they died shortly after their 48th wedding anniversary.


Conversely, when my in-laws celebrated their Golden back in 2004, , I designed the invites, and my MiL and I had a good time together shopping for the party. When they celebrated their Diamond (sixty years), I arranged a simple and successful potluck luncheon with their descendants.


The next hallmark holiday for me is my fiftieth birthday in 2019, and I already told the WGH that I want a special party. However, I’d like a nice celebration for Brian, too (when he turned fifty last year, all he wanted was a few good friends over to play games; we had a blast). I don’t’ want to wait until our Ruby or Golden anniversary for a big party or trip, but current economics is not on our side. I don’t see a change anytime soon, either. Sigh.


I can haz winning lottery tix now plz?


Pog ma thoin!
-Lori


“I hate being poor.”Ronald Weasley, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

A Preacher Walks into a Grocery Store...

...and comforts a grieving Atheist and Pagan.


Saturday night, I heard that a dear friend of mine – Elle Janet Plato – died. Sunday I learned that the cause of death was suicide; something that I attempted when I was fifteen. My attempt was a cry for help, which I eventually received. Was Elle crying for help? I last saw her at Odyssey Con in April. She was playing in the gaming room, and her back was to the door. I snuck up behind her and hugged her. She seemed happy and having a good time.


Because of my attempt more than 30 years ago, I trained myself to look for the signs: talking about or asking questions about death, giving away prized possessions, a disconnect from others. If Elle displayed any of these symptoms, I missed them, and I’m sorry.


I will reiterate something that I hope all of my friends and even family should know: you can call me anytime; I don’t care the hour. I’ve dealt with the three AM phone call before, and I’d rather deal with that than what I am facing now: a memorial service for someone I loved during which the guilt ferrets will nibble on me (thank you Kevin Hearne for the analogy), and I will wonder if I could have prevented it.


I know that I am being self-centered right now, but Fuck! I’m grieving, and I’m not the only one. I had the unfortunate luck to have to tell Brian how Elle died. I already had to deliver such news when his brother died (heart attack 2002), and I’m still in shock myself.


Remember my framily: call me whenever you need; I don’t care the hour.


Sunday we went to breakfast as usual to the Prairie Diner, then ran a very few errands. At Pegasus, I bought yet another booster for my Munchkin collection (Knights). We picked up a few items at Target, especially a copy of Deadpool – a movie Elle raved about, and more boxes of tissues, which I’m sure we’ll need more of by next weekend.


At Woodman’s, we bought some chocolate ice cream, but we almost forgot the clear juice for Brian in advance of his colonoscopy on Monday. In the processed fruit aisle, we met a preacher, his wife, and I assume their teenaged/young adult daughter. How’d I know he was a preacher? The white shirt, dark pants, clerical collar, and the necklace with the cross pendant tucked into his breast pocket. His wife was dressed the same but her white blouse had an open collar and she wore a dark skirt. I can’t recall what the preacher was looking for, but we had a bit of a hard time finding the clear (and inexpensive) juices. The preacher wondered if, like him, my husband was plagued with gout. I whispered the real reason in his ear.


While waiting in line at the checkout, Brian noticed the preacher and family a couple of cashiers away and went to ask him to pray for our friend Janet who just committed suicide. Brian is an Atheist, and Janet – like me – was a Pagan (or was she an Atheist like Brian? I don’t know), but even Brian admits that he may be wrong about God. The preacher came to us in line and gave us hugs and fist-bumps as we cried.


I don’t agree with a lot of what modern Christian Churches espouse, but I also know the good works the Church does, too. Back in 2007 when my parents were dying, members of their Church helped my siblings and me by giving my parents rides to their numerous doctor appointments, bringing them meals, and just visiting with them so they weren’t lonely. My siblings and I were grateful because we couldn’t do it all because of our jobs or distance.


Elle was transgender who transitioned to transsexual. Some of her friends knew her as “Larry” before her transition. Her sexuality probably was a factor in her suicide because of current events and misperceptions of LBTGQ people. She told me about her transition once, and later on I wasn’t sure whether or not to believe her because Elle had a wicked sense of humor; nor did it matter. Elle was simply my dear friend.


Over the years of gaming with Elle, I collected many quotes; here are just a few:
“Emergency Dice.”
“I’m not a paladin; I don’t do lawful stupid.”
On the martial arts “I started with martial water colors.”
“I’d like to make sense, but I’m not sure how to.”


Requiescat in pace, Elle.


Blessed Be,
-Lori


“Pain is temporary; Suicide isn’t.” – seen on a poster at UW-Platteville when I was a student there in the late 80s

Monday, May 23, 2016

Geek Weddings are the Best

Earlier in the year I was on Facebook (FB) for one of my very rare visits, and I saw an invite for my friend Richard’s wedding. This was a bit surprising because Richard has been retired the entire six-plus years I’ve known him, and he’s on FB about as much as I am, and for similar reasons. (For the record: Richard is Adam Savage’s doppelgänger and has a voice similar to Frank Oz.) When I said to Brian, the World’s Greatest Husband (WGH), that Richard was getting married, he thought the post must be a prank.


Well, further research on FB, and following the link to their wedding blog, I found that this was not a prank. In Richard’s own words, “We’re seriously getting married, but we’re not getting married seriously.” Excellent. I RSVP’d yes for me and the WGH for what Richard called a May-December wedding. I tried to meet the bride at Odyssey Con, but she was working.


Yesterday was the big day, and because I subscribed to the blog, I knew that parking at the park that was the venue would be minimal, so I suggested we go early and take our e-books. For yet another rarity, the WGH agreed that his wife is a genius (after all, I married him!). We set up our lawn chairs in the shade, and I admired the sun hats that my friends wore (I couldn’t find my visor, so I wore Brian’s Packers Shareholder cap). When I looked at the program, I confirmed that this wedding was going to be different with references to “The Gride” and “The Broom” and “Exchange of Smoochery” after the exchanges of vows and rings. Another convention friend, who would be doing the readings, admired our attire, and said he had on his Spider-Man underwear (Guests wore anything from formal cocktail dresses and suits to shorts and tee-shirts, such as the WGH wore. I wore my very old and very comfortable blue sundress.).


Finally at 1:06 (I have yet to attend a wedding – including my own – that began on time), a few people were at the floral arch, including a lovely woman in a black suit with a bright pink bow-tie and boutonniere. A car drove onto the grass behind those seated, and out came a person in a big white dress carrying a bouquet of pink flowers. I said to the WGH, “I can just see Richard being the one to wear the dress.” When the wind blew the veil, I saw that yes, it was Richard in the dress, and the lady in the suit was his fiancée. Nice. The officiant made it clear that this was a “traditional” ceremony that would “adhere to gender norms.” I think it was Richard’s mother who did the “Giveth Awayness”, and she said she’d been waiting to do this since he was in school [ETA: I have since learned the lady who Giveth Awayness was the Broom's sister]. I honestly laughed and hooted and “huzzah-ed” throughout the ceremony, and I wasn’t the only one.


When our friend with the Spider-Man underwear recited the “selected readings from a famous book (The Bible),” selections included the “love is this, that, and the other thing” from I Corinthians, something from Genesis, and a selection from Deuteronomy (I think) about the bride should be a virgin. Then someone (I think it was Richard’s mother [sister - ed.]) said, “Richard is a virgin!?” At which point, several ladies – and even a couple of gents – in the audience stood up and testified that Richard was NOT a virgin.


Then came the exchange of vows, and the officiant took off his jacket to show that he was wearing a referee’s shirt underneath. He blew a whistle and flipped a coin, and Abigail won the toss, so she went first. She gave a brief but beautiful promise. Then they “switched sides” for “half-time” and played “Jump Around.” Many of us (myself included) danced as if we were at a Badger home game. Then Richard sang his vows: an a cappella version of “Annie’s Song.” Granted, Richard’s no John Denver, but the tribute was beautiful, and I admired his cojones and envied his singing ability.


When the officiant asked if anyone objects to the marriage, a few people – some of the same ones who testified to Richard’s sexual history – said, “I object! Abigail can do better!” More laughs.


Finally the officiant stated, “By the power invested in me by Al Gore and the Internet, I now pronounce you…” and here he flustered with bride/groom, husband/wife, until he said either married or spouses. I don’t remember which. I just love that we live in a world that is evolving toward non-binary gender definitions.


We chatted with many friends until it was time to go to the middle school that was the reception venue (I have no idea how they secured that). The happy couple mercifully had their receiving line out of the sun and inside the building. I said to Richard, “Leave it to you to look better in a wedding gown on your wedding day than I did on mine.” Brian commented on how hard it must have been to find a gown in his size. Richard confessed what I suspected; it was tailor-made for him.


The food was catered by a local and delicious Indian cuisine restaurant, and the drinks were available in well-labeled coolers that were reminiscent of Whitey – the second refrigerator that Richard kept in his previous home to provide drinks for his guests. Whitey included a diagram on the door that mapped where to find which beverages within. I wonder if Whitey made the move to Richard and Abigail’s condo…?


The tables were decorated with Christmas-themed table runners and pipe cleaner pine trees, in keeping with the May-December theme. Unfortunately, the tables were designed for children aged (and sized) eleven to thirteen; not full-grown (and then some) adults. I wasn’t the only who had trouble sitting, and the WGH wisely sat on a folded chair on the end (that would have crushed my thighs).


Although dancing would occur later on in the reception, Brian and I left early. We told everyone it was because we had work to do on the house (that we’ll be doing next weekend), but really because I was getting overheated, and y’all know I don’t deal well with the heat. When we said our goodbyes, I jokingly stated to Abigail that she could do better, which she wisely countered with “Oh, no. He’s the best.” (I sincerely hope she realized I was teasing because I felt awful the rest of the evening worrying if I offended her.) I did tell her that Richard is a wonderful guy – which is the truth. Many years ago, I was thinking of matching him with J. V. Jones, who was a Guest of Honor at Odyssey Con in 2011, but I didn’t because a. she lives in California, and b. I’m a horrible matchmaker.


I’m ecstatic that Richard found the love of his life. Abigail seems wonderful, too; at the very least, she has an excellent sense of humor considering her very fun wedding.


Pog ma thoin!
-Lori


“I know that when ye think o’ love you’re supposed to think o’ kissy faces and scented soap and hummin’ happy songs together, but there’s another vital part to it that people rarely admit to themselves: We want somebody to rescue us from other people. From talking to them, I mean, or from the burden of giving a damn about what they say. We don’t want to be polite and stifle our farts, now do we? We want to let ‘em rip and we want to be with someone who won’t care if we do, who will love us regardless and fart right back besides.” – Owen Kennedy, Staked by Kevin Hearne