Tuesday, June 7, 2016

A Preacher Walks into a Grocery Store...

...and comforts a grieving Atheist and Pagan.


Saturday night, I heard that a dear friend of mine – Elle Janet Plato – died. Sunday I learned that the cause of death was suicide; something that I attempted when I was fifteen. My attempt was a cry for help, which I eventually received. Was Elle crying for help? I last saw her at Odyssey Con in April. She was playing in the gaming room, and her back was to the door. I snuck up behind her and hugged her. She seemed happy and having a good time.


Because of my attempt more than 30 years ago, I trained myself to look for the signs: talking about or asking questions about death, giving away prized possessions, a disconnect from others. If Elle displayed any of these symptoms, I missed them, and I’m sorry.


I will reiterate something that I hope all of my friends and even family should know: you can call me anytime; I don’t care the hour. I’ve dealt with the three AM phone call before, and I’d rather deal with that than what I am facing now: a memorial service for someone I loved during which the guilt ferrets will nibble on me (thank you Kevin Hearne for the analogy), and I will wonder if I could have prevented it.


I know that I am being self-centered right now, but Fuck! I’m grieving, and I’m not the only one. I had the unfortunate luck to have to tell Brian how Elle died. I already had to deliver such news when his brother died (heart attack 2002), and I’m still in shock myself.


Remember my framily: call me whenever you need; I don’t care the hour.


Sunday we went to breakfast as usual to the Prairie Diner, then ran a very few errands. At Pegasus, I bought yet another booster for my Munchkin collection (Knights). We picked up a few items at Target, especially a copy of Deadpool – a movie Elle raved about, and more boxes of tissues, which I’m sure we’ll need more of by next weekend.


At Woodman’s, we bought some chocolate ice cream, but we almost forgot the clear juice for Brian in advance of his colonoscopy on Monday. In the processed fruit aisle, we met a preacher, his wife, and I assume their teenaged/young adult daughter. How’d I know he was a preacher? The white shirt, dark pants, clerical collar, and the necklace with the cross pendant tucked into his breast pocket. His wife was dressed the same but her white blouse had an open collar and she wore a dark skirt. I can’t recall what the preacher was looking for, but we had a bit of a hard time finding the clear (and inexpensive) juices. The preacher wondered if, like him, my husband was plagued with gout. I whispered the real reason in his ear.


While waiting in line at the checkout, Brian noticed the preacher and family a couple of cashiers away and went to ask him to pray for our friend Janet who just committed suicide. Brian is an Atheist, and Janet – like me – was a Pagan (or was she an Atheist like Brian? I don’t know), but even Brian admits that he may be wrong about God. The preacher came to us in line and gave us hugs and fist-bumps as we cried.


I don’t agree with a lot of what modern Christian Churches espouse, but I also know the good works the Church does, too. Back in 2007 when my parents were dying, members of their Church helped my siblings and me by giving my parents rides to their numerous doctor appointments, bringing them meals, and just visiting with them so they weren’t lonely. My siblings and I were grateful because we couldn’t do it all because of our jobs or distance.


Elle was transgender who transitioned to transsexual. Some of her friends knew her as “Larry” before her transition. Her sexuality probably was a factor in her suicide because of current events and misperceptions of LBTGQ people. She told me about her transition once, and later on I wasn’t sure whether or not to believe her because Elle had a wicked sense of humor; nor did it matter. Elle was simply my dear friend.


Over the years of gaming with Elle, I collected many quotes; here are just a few:
“Emergency Dice.”
“I’m not a paladin; I don’t do lawful stupid.”
On the martial arts “I started with martial water colors.”
“I’d like to make sense, but I’m not sure how to.”


Requiescat in pace, Elle.


Blessed Be,
-Lori


“Pain is temporary; Suicide isn’t.” – seen on a poster at UW-Platteville when I was a student there in the late 80s

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